Spammers say the darnedest things! (2)

<sigh> I guess this will become a regular feature of this blog.  It was too much to hope they’d learn English, spelling and grammar in one month….

These are (again, more) spammer-ad headlines that I’ve received from 10/28 to today.  My comments are in italics below each one.  Please know that I did NOT edit them in any way.  I just copied-and-pasted them, as is.

Enjoy!

I just broke 100 sales in a week. Imagine what YOU can do.. (10/28/12)
I’ll have no problem breaking (or even smashing) 101.  I’m a lousy salesman!

Drop to Your High School Weight By Halloween! (10/30/12)
*Might* be time to stop sending this ad!

Drop to Your High School Weight By Halloween! (11/2/12)
Missed the deadline?  or early start?

Price increase comming up!!! (10/31/12)
I’ll be watchching for it!

Do YOU SCREAM on HALLOWEEN? This SITE Dose!  (10/31/12)
And that dose is … 2 candy corn every 4 hours??

I Will Pay You In!  (11/1/12)
(Sounds better than being ‘done in’!)

ARE YOUR SMART? (11/2/12)
I sure are!

How to fight cancer and other degenerative deceases. (11/2/12)
Sounds like it *might* be too late

very good activies (11/2/12)
I’m glad yours are.  MY activies have been nothing but trouble!

Congratulations, foodstr22@spamcop.net. Your VA Loan Review. (10/29/12)
Wonderful!  Tell me, again, when was I in the Service??

We have a Revenue Share SIte For Sale.I won’t Last   (11/3/12)
Oh, OK, then I’ll just get it from your heirs for a song.

Start Getting Your 1000000 Visitors Today. (11/3/12)
Why I love commas.

The one stop shop for Everything! Whatever your need… We Have Your Solution!
Great!  I need a heart and a kidney.  Where do I sign??

Skip McGrath’s Online Seller’s Resource
So, I did!  (Just like they told me…)

THIS IS NASTY. I have something for you Bruce
Could you TRY any harder to get me to read….?

Bruce Hopkins, Please read before Monday 11.00am… (11/5/12, rec’d at 7:49pm)
You’re making it harder and harder to comply!

wining ad
Pssst!  Ya need to add either an H or an N!  Or…pour me another glass!

Grate to advertise or earn  (11/17/12)
Is that all it takes?!?  Should it be cheese, carrots, onions, or….?

Best Advertising Package Around The Glob (11/19/12)
I’m sure glad you didn’t manage to step in it!

Warning: This doesn’t work… (11/19/12)
Great! Then I won’t bother clicking on it!

investment opertunity (11/20/12)
I can’t weit to invost!  How many dollors??

You cannot loose with this…Hurry! (11/20/12)
OK!  I’ll call someone to cut the knots.

100,000+ F R E E visitors per month… (10/29/12)
I better get crackin’ on those hors d’oeuvres!

Slow Server Got You Down ?  (11/21/12)
She sure does!  It’s taking forever to get our entrees.

Easily Create Unlimited Powerlines  (11/21/12)
If you can do that, then why is my electric bill so high??

From: ALL.BIZ: USA – In a post box of your enterprise new messages have arrived (11/21/12)
Yup, sounds like a good ol’ stilted, uneducated American to me!

– – – – –
And finally, No Comment:

A Beter Way  (11/21/12)
A Beter Wayof Service  (11/21/12)
– – – – –

I’m tempted pursue this same thing with FaceBook posts, but, alas, I can’t.  I do run a business and, if I followed the English horrors of FB, that would be all I could do! (My guess is that the internet could not be developed until Americans were sufficiently dumbed-down….)

But, let me share one with you:  I live in Texas.  This grandson lives in Illinois.  Here’s his post–and my reply–from 11/20/12 ( http://www.facebook.com/YungHoppy ):

“When my daughter gets prego, shes not going to be on “Teen Mom, an “16 and Pregnant… Shes gonna be on “The first 48″with the case called “Ass Whoopin”…”

Well, THAT’S what I call tough love!  Will she be OK if she buys Hunts or Newman’s Own?? (I kinda like Prego, myself.  I guess it’s lucky I live in Texas!)

Happy Thanksgiving 2012, Folks!

Bruce

 

Advertisements

About foodstr2

[Real name] Bruce Hopkins [Current residence] Quinlan, Texas [Work history in chronological order] Grape Picker, Scullery Captain, Printer, Preacher, Restaurant Manager, Gas Station Attendant, Copier Service Technician, Satellite Systems Service Technician, Satellite Systems Service Manager, Customer Service Manager, Family Law Legal Forms Typist, Storable Foods Business Owner, Courier, Telephone Support Tech, Telephone Sales of UPSs. Wanna hire me?
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s